Today, on this Father’s Day, I’m going to preach on every father’s favorite verse, Ephesians 6:1 – “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” I say that half-jokingly of course, because we have some other good candidates for a father’s favorite verse, like Proverbs 18:22 – “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” Or how about Romans 14:2 – “One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables.”
            Ephesians 6:1 is a very unique verse because it contains perhaps the only command in the Bible that we actually grow out of. When we become adults, the relationship of authority that we’ve had with our parents changes so that we no longer have to obey what they tell us to do, although we are still called to honor them and support them as needs arise.
            So as we actually take a look at Ephesians 6:1-3, there is something for all of us to learn. Certainly, however, I’d like for all of you children and teenagers to give me your very best attention today because we’re going to talk about a message from God that is specifically for you. I’m sure there are times when you sit here and think that I’m not really talking to you, but trust me—today I am!
 
So let’s see what God has to say in these verses.
 
“In the Lord…”
            Verse 1 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” We see a very clear command to obey your parents, but this phrase “in the Lord” reminds us of a couple of very important thoughts. First, it reminds us that you should obey your parents not because they always deserve it, but because it’s what God asks you to do. So your decision to obey or not obey is mostly a question of whether you will obey God – even more so than whether you will obey your parents.
            So, for example, if your parents ask you to clean your room, you should obey because it’s what God wants you to do. And so, you should obey even if your parents don’t ask very politely, or even if they promised to play with you the night before but never got around to it, or even if they’ve not set a very good example and they never even clean their own room! You should obey because it’s what God wants you to do.
            Second, that little phrase reminds us that God is really in charge of your life – even more so than your parents – so you should continue to obey him even if your parents ask you to do something that’s wrong. Perhaps your parents are divorced and one parent wants you to be mean to the other parent. That’s something you shouldn’t do, because that would be sinful, wouldn’t it? Or perhaps your parents ask you to lie about something for them. This can be very tricky, but you need to think about how you can continue to obey God in those situations rather than do something that’s sinful. If that happens to you a lot, you might talk to your Sunday School teacher about that or your AWANA leader, and see what they can do to help.
            Now, I know many of you have heard this command for years—“obey your parents, obey your parents!” You know it’s a command for you from God, but maybe you don’t know how seriously God takes this matter. After all, some of your friends might not be very obedient to their parents. Is it really that big of a deal?
            Let me tell you about a few verses from 2 Timothy 3. In these verses, the Apostle Paul talks about how our world is going to have some big problems before Jesus returns. You may not understand all of these words—and that’s okay—but I bet one thing will jump out at you as I read [READ 2 Tim. 3:1-5]. Did you hear “disobedient to their parents” in that list? That was a list of some bad attitudes and actions, and God told Paul to put “disobedient to their parents” right in the middle of it.
            Paul also said that we need to avoid people who act in those ways. So as you’re deciding who your friends are going to be, you may have to decide that you can’t be best friends with someone who disobeys their parents a lot. You probably shouldn’t make that person the kind of friend you share secrets with, or the kind of friend that you ask for advice. That doesn’t mean you can’t play basketball with them or swim at the pool with them, but you will have to be careful how much influence you let them have over your heart.
            And for you teenagers, when you get older and start to think about dating, if you’re trying to decide whether a person is good dating material, ask yourself how they treat their parents. If that guy is disrespectful toward his parents or that girl is always mouthing off to her parents, you better run like you did when you still thought the opposite sex had cooties! The way that person treats his or her parents is exactly the way that he or she will eventually treat you. I know they don’t treat you that way in the beginning because you’re “in love,” but you just wait—its only a matter of time! So you find a person who treats his or her parents well.
 
“The first commandment with a promise…”
            [READ vv. 2-3] Here, Paul was quoting from the Ten Commandments back in the Old Testament. He points out something interesting about this command to honor your father and mother—even though it was the fifth commandment in that list of 10, it was the first commandment on the list that had a promise attached to it. Paul recorded the promise right there in verse 3—“that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” In other words, the promise to those Jewish children was that life would be better for them if they honored their parents, and they would get to stay on the property that God was giving their people—the Promised Land.
            Now, the first part of that promise definitely still applies to you—that’s why Paul included it here. Generally speaking, life will go better for you if you honor your parents. Not only will your home life be more peaceful, but you will keep yourself out of a lot of trouble if you will honor and obey your parents.
            Now, obeying and honoring are two slightly different things. Obedience talks more about your actions, and honoring talks more about your attitude—although your attitude certainly spills over into the way you act. But let’s ask ourselves here…
 
What does it mean, in practical terms, to honor your father and mother?
 
1. Treat them like very significant and important people
            To help you understand what I’m getting at here, think about an adult other than your parents whom you greatly admire – someone that you might consider a mentor, or at the very least, someone that you want to be like. This person might be your teacher, your youth group leader, or maybe your coach.
            Think about how you treat that person. You wouldn’t dream of talking back to them because you admire them and respect them too much for that. If they give you advice, you would really take it to heart because you value their opinion. You might even go out of your way to be helpful to them because you’re thankful for them and grateful to have them in your life.
            The way that you treat that person should be the very same way that you choose to treat your parents. That’s easier said than done, of course, but at least having that comparison in mind will give you a handy way to remember what it looks like to treat someone with honor and respect.
 
2. Let their approval carry significant weight in your decisions
            When I was a teenager, my parents gave me almost no rules that I had to follow. I had no curfew, so I was often out at times when nothing good was going on. I had no rules about dating, which was a really bad situation. From the time I was able to drive, I was able to go out on dates with girls all alone. Quite often, my parents didn’t even know who these girls were because I wasn’t required to introduce them to my parents first or get my parents input or anything. Let’s be honest – that was not a good situation!
            Despite this lack of rules, the one thing that kept me at least close to the straight and narrow – other than the Holy Spirit of course – was that I didn’t want to disappoint my parents. They raised me with such affection that I never wanted to let them down. Besides that, I am the youngest child in my family, so I got to see firsthand how my parents’ hearts would break when my older siblings did something that they didn’t approve of.
            That desire to make them proud of my choices kept me out of trouble many times. I remember a time around Halloween when some of my buddies thought it would be fun to go steal some pumpkins from the local Walmart and smash them in the driveways of people around town. Now, I knew that if I got caught doing that, my parents would die! So I stayed behind with just one or two friends at the house where we were hanging out that night.
            Well, after a while, our buddies didn’t come back and they didn’t come back, and we eventually figured that they were just out doing their thing, so we all went home. I found out the next day that my friends hadn’t even made it 20 yards out of the Walmart parking lot before they got pulled over! When they cruised by to steal those pumpkins, there was a cop sitting in the shadows across the parking lot, and they never even saw him! They were sitting ducks!
            The manager of the store chose not to press charges, but the officer took all of my friends to the police station and made their parents come pick them up before they could leave. As you can imagine, those guys weren’t able to hang out for a while after that.
            So to all of you kids and teenagers, let your parents’ approval carry significant weight as you’re making your choices. Decide for yourself that the last thing you would want to do is disappoint these dear people who have loved you and sacrificed so much to raise you and give you everything you need.
 
3. Let their advice carry significant weight in your thinking
            In the lead up to Father’s Day this week, I saw a short video about kids asking their fathers for advice. It quoted a statistic – and you all know that you have to take statistics on the Internet with a grain of salt – which said that 94% of teenagers would search Google for advice about something before they would ask their own father. I can’t say how they came up with that number, but the basic claim has a ring of truth to it in my opinion.
            Look – I know it’s so tempting to think that your parents are out of touch with reality because they may not know much about pop culture or technology. I know your parents might think the X-Men are the people who make X-Boxes, but trust me – your parents know a whole lot more about life than you will ever realize until you’re older. They can certainly give you far better advice than Google!
            So choose to talk to your parents and get their advice about the questions you have and the things that confuse you. Once you hear what they have to say, don’t take it lightly, and don’t just brush it off as if they have no idea what they’re talking about. That would be a terrible mistake for you to make. Consider long and hard what they have to say, and allow their advice to shape the way that you think about the world.
            For 16 years now, my father has been battling Parkinson’s disease. That disease really affects a person’s mobility among other things. I hate to see such a routine task as walking become so difficult for my dad, and I hate it for him that he won’t be able to play with my children the way that I know he would love to.
            But what really gets to me more than anything is the fact that I can’t talk things over with my dad anymore. The medications that he takes allow him to have a greater mobility, but they keep him from thinking very clearly, so much so that it’s hard for him to follow a conversation or put more than a couple of coherent sentences together at the same time.
            If I had known earlier in my life that my dad would suffer like this from Parkinson’s disease, I don’t think I would’ve told you that the thing I’d miss the most would be his advice. But that is what I would tell you today, and so I want to tell you kids and teenagers, don’t waste your opportunity to get advice from your parents. And when they offer it or when you ask for it, don’t fall into the foolish trap of thinking that you know better than they do. One of their God-given tasks is to teach you about life and how to make wise decisions, and I know that every parent I see in this room today takes that job seriously. So be thankful for them, and let their advice sink down deep into your souls, so that you might come to know how to make wise decisions.
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            Her heart must have been pounding inside her chest as she stepped into that room—that room where no one was welcome without an invitation, that room where coming uninvited could get a person killed. But as the king heard her footsteps and lifted his eyes to see who had dared to come into that room, his heart was filled with compassion. When he saw the face of the one he loved, he raised his scepter to indicate that she was welcome.
            The story of Esther reminds us how difficult it has always been to get an audience with people in positions of high authority. Just imagine if you wanted to have a conversation with the President. For the average person, it would be practically impossible.
            And yet, as Christians, we have free and ready access to the highest authority of all—God himself! At any moment we choose, no matter where we are, we can simply turn our thoughts toward God and express our thoughts to Him, and He will hear us. Isn’t that amazing?
            With such an amazing privilege at our disposal, we should ask ourselves, “How am I using this opportunity?” Am I making the most of this incredible gift? Am I perhaps using it in a merely selfish way? I heard a great question recently that I think really helps put things in perspective—if all of my prayers were answered tomorrow, would only my life be different, or would the whole world be different?
            Today, we’re going to take a look at a scriptural command for us to pray for one another. It is no hollow cliché to say that the best thing we can do for each other is pray for each other. We’ll find out a bit more about how to do that in Ephesians 6:18.
            Beginning in Ephesians 6:10, the Apostle Paul uses the metaphor of warfare to discuss the battles that we face against the schemes of the devil. He makes a vital point in v. 12 when he writes, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” The titles “rulers” and “authorities” refer to the spiritual beings—the demonic beings—who are working with Satan to do battle against us.
            So our struggle is against spiritual beings and their powers, and as the old saying goes, you have to fight fire with fire. You’re not going to win a modern-day war with bows and arrows, and likewise, you’re not going to win a struggle against spiritual beings with merely human resources. This is one reason why prayer is such a vital tool in our spiritual arsenal, and it is why we need to employ it on behalf of others.
            In vv. 13-17, then, Paul calls upon us to embrace certain attitudes and behaviors, and he memorably compares them to different pieces of armor that were worn by Roman soldiers at that time. Then in v. 18, he ties it all together with this instruction about prayer—“praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints.”
 
Let’s dig deeper into this verse with a few simple questions.
 
When Should We Pray?
            According to this verse, we should pray “at all times.” If we were to ask the Bible whether we should pray in the morning, the afternoon, or the evening, it would simply say, “Yes!” Every time of day is a good time for prayer!
            Recall that in John 15, Jesus said (and I paraphrase), “I am like a vine, and you are like the branches coming out of the vine. Apart from me, you can do nothing!” He meant, of course, nothing of spiritual value. We can do plenty of sinning on our own, but to do anything good, the guidance and strength of Christ are absolutely essential.
            If that’s true, then as people who need Jesus like a branch needs its vine, we should never be very far removed from our last prayer, and we should never be very far away from our next prayer. Texting conversations provide a great illustration of what that might look like. You can carry on a texting conversation with someone all day if you want, and yet at the same time, you can take care of the business you need to attend to that day. But that conversation is always in the back of your mind, and every so often you fire off another text to that person.
            That’s a great model for what it might look like to pray at all times. In the back of our minds, we should have an ongoing conversation with God about our day, and then every little bit, we bring that conversation to the front of our minds, and we pray a prayer to God.
            So think about your typical day and ask yourself, “Do I have some pretty long stretches of prayerlessness?” Or ask yourself this—“If I ate only as often as I pray, what would my physical health be like? Would I be well-fed or malnourished?” Well, if you endure long stretches without prayer, don’t you think your spiritual health suffers? So, we must pray at all times.
 
How Should We Pray?
 
1. In the Spirit
            When you hear this phrase, don’t picture yourself going into a trance or some kind of altered state of mind. The idea is to pray with the resources that the Holy Spirit provides. What kind of resources does He provide for our prayers?
            The first resource we should mention is confidence. The Holy Spirit reminds us that we are children of God, and as such, we have the right to come to God in prayer. Romans 8:16 says, “The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God.” Thus, we don’t have to wonder, like Esther did, whether the king is going to lower His scepter to us when we approach his throne. We can thus pray with confidence.
            That same chapter—Romans 8—mentions another activity of the Spirit to help us in prayer. Verses 26-27 state, “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.”
            Notice how the Holy Spirit steps in for us. We don’t always know the right thing to pray for, do we? Sometimes, life is so complicated, we don’t even know what the best thing to ask for is. So as we wrestle with what to even say, the Holy Spirit assists us in the process. It may not be far off to think of Him acting like a translator—as I’m stumbling over my words, He can step in and say, “Father, what Tim really meant to say was…” And so, the Holy Spirit can give us great confidence for prayer.
            Second, He can also give us content for our prayers. Notice that Ephesians 6:17 says that the sword of the Spirit is the word of God. God’s Word is a powerful tool that the Holy Spirit uses to shape our lives—to give us teaching, reproof, correction and training in righteousness (2 Tim. 3:16). As the Spirit teaches us the promises of God, we can use them to inform our prayers. As He convicts us of sin, we can find the remedy in Scripture, and pray over it. A Scripture-saturated prayer is a powerful prayer indeed, and the Holy Spirit can impress those Scriptures upon our hearts.
 
2. With all prayer and supplication
            Think of this directive as a goal to make your prayers a “well-balanced diet.” The word “prayer” is a more general term that could encompass anything you might say to God—whether you’re thanking Him or praising Him or confessing sin. The word “supplication” is a more specific term that refers to making requests.
            Taken together, these terms describe a well-rounded prayer life. If anything, I’ll bet we’re tempted to go heavy on making requests, and perhaps go a bit light on everything else. Or maybe your prayers are like a form letter—you always end up saying the same things, and the only section that ever gets an update is the request section.
            This statement from Paul instructs us not to neglect any aspect of prayer. Reflecting on The Lord’s Prayer is a good way to find some balance in your prayer life, because Jesus uttered that prayer in order to teach the disciples how to pray. It can teach us, too, if we’ll reflect on it a bit and learn what the Lord was saying.
 
3. With alertness and perseverance
            This phrase may surprise us a bit, because I think it paints prayer in a different light than the light in which we’re used to seeing it. Paul’s language here is perfectly suited to the context, since he’s been using this metaphor of warfare. A soldier in battle must always remain alert and must persevere through difficulty.
            And remember—a soldier in battle is precisely how Paul envisions you and me in this passage. That observation puts the practice of prayer into an important context. I believe we are often tempted to think of prayer as being like a perk or a fringe benefit of being a Christian—kind of like a bonus that God tossed into the gift of salvation.
            But prayer is no fringe benefit in the Christian life—it is much more like the communication that occurs in a time of battle. If you’re a soldier, communicating with your commander isn’t a bonus or something optional—it is absolutely crucial to the success of the mission and to your own safety and well-being.
            In his book Desiring God, John Piper suggested that many of our problems in prayer and much of our weakness in prayer come from the fact that we have taken a wartime walkie-talkie and turned it in to a civilian intercom. Rather than use prayer to go on active duty for God, he says, we use it to try to call the servants to bring another cushion into the den. We’ve turned it into something like a call button for an airline stewardess—something we can just use to call for another Coke whenever we’re thirsty.
            We must never forget that we are constantly under attack by the schemes of Satan. It is in that light that we must pray—as if our very survival depended on it. We must not let Satan catch us during a season of drought in our prayer lives. If we truly are at war with the Evil One, why would we cut our own line of communication with our commander by not praying? Or why would we render it moot and useless by trying to use it for the wrong purpose?
 
For Whom Should We Pray?
            At the end of this verse, Paul states that we should make supplication for all the saints. At a minimum, I’m sure Paul was telling these Christians in Ephesus to pray for all the other Christians there in their local church. To that, we could add other believers with whom they had personal contact, like the Apostle Paul, and then beyond that, we could add other Christians as they came to hear about them.
            Here is where we really get to the heart of the command to pray for one another. Our prayers should not be all about ourselves and our own concerns. Other people should have the starring role in our prayers—then, we can just bring ourselves in for a cameo appearance!
            That balance may ebb and flow with different prayers. A prayer to confess sin will, of course, be intensely personal, and it will focus on yourself. In other prayers, you may have a very urgent personal need that receives most of the focus. But in the bulk of your prayers overall, other people should be blessed by being the focus of your prayers.
            I would encourage you not to simply rely on your memory to help you pray for others and their needs. Use other tools to help faithfully pray for others. We supply several different tools through our own church—our recurring prayer list that we now print once a month, our urgent prayer list that we print in the bulletin, the selected family to pray for each week. If you will make use of these tools, they will provide you with a systematic way to pray for all of your brothers and sisters in this church.
 
            Praying for each other is a great privilege and a necessary tool in our battle against Satan. It also reminds us of the unity that we have as a result of our Lord’s sacrifice for our sins. Whenever we celebrate The Lord’s Supper together, we are reminded that we all have a stake in the sacrificial death of Christ; we all have been washed clean by His shed blood. May we partake of it today with our unity in the forefront of our minds!