Some relationships in life seem to get better when you share them with others. Having one best friend in your life is great, but it seems to be even sweeter to have a circle of friends who all enjoy each other deeply. The joy of those friendships seems to be enhanced because it is shared with others.
            Other relationships, though, cannot be shared without doing tremendous damage to the relationship. Your relationship with your spouse is one such relationship. You simply cannot share the intimacy that you have with your spouse with anyone else. If you do, then the relationship is greatly harmed.
            Over the last two weeks, we’ve been talking about sharing our faith in Christ with others—inviting them to enjoy the same kind of relationship with God that we enjoy. Today, we’re going to see that there is one sense in which our relationship with God cannot be shared with anyone else—that is in God’s role as our Lord or Master. God alone must occupy that role in our lives. Yes, we do have lesser authorities that we’re called to obey, like your boss or our leaders in government. But as far as our highest allegiance is concerned, that is to be given to God and God alone.
            It’s fitting that I mentioned marriage a moment ago when talking about this kind of allegiance, because all through the Bible, God compares His relationship with us to that of a husband to his bride. A husband and wife are supposed to give each other exclusive devotion on a number of levels; thus, that relationship is a fitting comparison for our relationship with God. That illustration also helps us understand one of the most unusual claims about God that we read in the Bible.
 
The Jealousy of God
            You don’t have to read very far into the Bible before you encounter this odd-sounding claim that God is a jealous God. For example, in Exodus 20, where we find the Ten Commandments, we read these words in verses 4-6 [READ vv. 4-6].
            The gears of our minds almost come to a grinding halt when we hear God call himself a jealous God. We don’t know what to make of that because we normally think of jealousy as being always and only bad. So then how could God call himself jealous?
            To make sense of this, we need to understand that at its root, jealousy is simply a passionate desire to possess something or to see something come about. The question that makes all the difference is this – do you have a right to the thing that you desire to possess? If you do and you are deprived of that thing, then your response could be called a godly jealousy. If you do not have a right to it, that’s when your desire becomes a sinful jealousy.
            A good illustration of a godly jealousy could be when a wife discovers that her husband has been unfaithful to her. She has an exclusive right to her husband’s affection, so when that right is violated, she has a natural and appropriate complaint about that. Now we might call her reaction a number of things – anger, devastation, disappointment – but we could call it a godly jealousy.
            As far as God is concerned, he has the right to receive our worship and obedience. He is our Creator and the one who keeps us alive for every moment that we are given in this life. Not only that, he is also our Savior, the one who has so graciously delivered us from the penalty of our sins. For all of this, he deserves to be the unrivaled master over our lives.
            When we do not treat him as such, he appropriately takes offense at that. But remember – this is not the same kind of petty offense taken by the person who doesn’t get the new pair of shoes that they wanted. This is the same kind of offense taken by someone who is denied justice, or by the woman whose marital rights are taken from her and given to another.
            The Lord warns us in this passage and others that when we spurn him as the unrivaled master of our lives, the consequences may appropriately be quite severe. Notice how the Lord states in verse five that he “[visits] the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me.” The consequences of our sins may affect our grandchildren’s children, and whether or not that will happen is up to God. In his grace, he so rarely gives us the full brunt of what our sins deserve, but he has the right to do so if he deems it necessary.
            But to no one’s surprise, we see the grace of God shining out far brighter than his discipline. In verse six he reminds us that he “[shows] steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments.” That might be better translated “1000 generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.” The effects of God’s discipline may last for three or four generations – which is no small thing! – but the echoes of his blessing can sound forth through 1000 generations!
 
So God has given us fair warning that he is a jealous God. He will not sit idly by as we serve other masters ahead of him.
 
No One Can Serve Two Masters
            Jesus put this warning in perhaps its most memorable form in the Sermon on the Mount. In the context of talking about money and wealth, he said, “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money (Matthew 6:24).”
            We could put many things in that statement and the principle would be just the same. The Lord could have said, “You cannot serve God and popularity,” or “You cannot serve God and personal comfort.”
            Remember that the Lord is talking about our highest allegiance. I am supposed to serve others in love, but that’s because God tells me to, and he is my highest master. I am supposed to serve my family, but that’s because God tells me to, and he is the Lord of lords – he is my highest authority.
 
The Danger of Idolatry
            Any time that we fail to give God our highest allegiance, we are engaging in idolatry, even though we may not normally think of our actions in those terms. We may understand that our actions have been sinful, but we don’t think of them as being instances of idolatry, though in fact they truly are.
            The reason that we can overlook idolatry in our own lives is that we associate idolatry with false worship, but our definition of worship is far too narrow. We normally think of worship as praying to something or singing a song of praise to it or literally bowing down to it and paying homage to it. So we don’t think we’ve ever worshiped our wealth because we’ve never sang a song of praise to our wallets. We don’t think we’ve ever worshiped our friends because we’ve never seated them on a chair in front of us and bowed down to them.
            But at its root, the idea of worship is simply the idea of assigning value to something. Whenever you have treated something as if it is more valuable than anything else in your life, you have worshiped it and you have committed idolatry, because you have given that thing the position in your heart that belongs to God alone.
 
Diagnosing Idolatry
            With that understanding of worship in mind, we can begin to diagnose idolatry that might be hiding within our own hearts. Let me present some questions that I believe can be very penetrating and very helpful for exposing idolatry.
 
1. Who am I willing to disappoint by my decisions?
            If I’m in a position where my decision is going to disappoint either God or other people, who am I willing to disappoint? To put it another way, am I willing to disobey God in order to go along with other people – or to impress others or to be popular? If I am willing to disobey God in those moments, that means I value the approval of others more than the approval of God. That means I am worshiping the approval of others and thus committing idolatry.
            If you find yourself in that position, you have to ask, “Why do I place such a high value on the approval of others?” It may be due to fear. If we lose the approval of others, they may reject us, and we may fear the thought of being lonely or the thought of suffering for our faith.
            It may be that you so highly value the approval of others because of a faulty view of who you are in Christ. You may tie your self-esteem to what other people think of you, when really your personal sense of worth and value should be built on the fact that you are a child of God.
 
2. Where do I find my sense of security?
            To put this another way, do I value the promises held out by things like money or power more than I value the promises made to me by God? Whose promises do I trust more? Thus, who will I give my highest allegiance to in the hopes that their promises to me will be fulfilled?
            In the time of the Old Testament Kings, the children of Israel repeatedly sought security in other people rather than in the Lord. On several occasions, when rumors of war came up, the kings of Israel or Judah would put themselves under the protection of a foreign nation, even though the Lord was promising to protect them. A few times, they even took some of the treasures in the Temple and gave them to foreign nations in order to buy their protection. They clearly did not value the promises of God the way they should have.
            In our lives today, we are bombarded constantly by the nearly overwhelming temptation to find our security in our wealth. This temptation can lead us to disobey the Lord in a number of ways. We may fail to be generous because we worry about our own futures or we cannot tolerate a change to our own standard of living. We may go along with unethical behavior on the job because we say, “I don’t know what I’d do without my benefits,” or “I’m just a few years away from retirement. This is no time for me to be rocking the boat.”
            So let’s all ask ourselves – do I value the promises held out to me by my savings account more than I value the promises held out to me by God? Do I value the promises held out to me by my standard of living more than I value the promises held out to me by God? If we have to answer “yes” to those questions, then we are idolaters.
 
3. What are my dreams for the future?
            Does my highest goal look exactly the same as that of someone who does not know Christ? Can my highest goal be accomplished in this life, or can it only be achieved when I see Jesus?
            Please understand I’m talking about your highest goal. We naturally share a lot of desires with unbelievers simply because we’re human beings. We all want to see our children grow up healthy and have everything they need. We would all prefer to live in comfort rather than hardship. I’m talking about the goal that is in the driver’s seat – the goal for which you are willing to allow other goals to fall by the wayside.
            Do I value worldly goals more than the goals given to me by God? Godly goals would be carrying out the Great Commission, storing up treasures for ourselves in heaven rather than on earth, and so on.
 
            It is painful to admit, but we have all been idolaters at one point or another. If you really want to press this thought, you could say that every instance of sin is an instance of idolatry because you’ve chosen to value something else more than you value obedience to God.
            The Bible cannot be more clear on this point – you cannot serve two masters. To serve anything else above God will provoke his holy jealousy and we will face his discipline for that. The only question is, to what degree?
            But the very God who is a jealous God is jealous because he is loving. He will not allow us to harm ourselves through idolatry without opposing our actions. And when we come to our senses and repent of our idolatrous ways, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. May we forsake all our idols today through the power of God’s Holy Spirit so that we may give God our highest allegiance, and no one else.
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​            In some ways, communicating with other people is easier than ever these days. If I need to get a hold of you about something, I have close to ten different ways to do that. I can meet with you in person, send you a letter, send you an e-mail, or call your home phone. If you’re not at home, that’s no big deal, because I can call your cell phone or text you or video chat with you or send you a Facebook message.
            But ironically, communicating about important matters is just as hard as ever. One of the keys for good communication is to have your message crystal-clear in your own mind. If you’re confused about what you want to say, then there’s very little chance that you can make your point clear to someone else.
            With that thought in mind, we’re going to take a look today at what the message of the Gospel truly is. Last week, we talked about finding the boldness to tell others about the Gospel, but the truth is that we will never feel very bold until we have the essence of the Gospel clearly defined in our own minds. So first, let’s talk about what the Gospel is not, then we’ll look at a passage that tells us clearly what it is.
 
What the Gospel is NOT
 
1. It is not the entire story contained in the Bible
            As Christians ourselves, we know that Christians are familiar with the story of the Bible from Creation all the way to the Book of Revelation. The Gospel is not that entire story, however—it’s a much smaller slice of that story. When you’re sharing the Gospel, then, it’s not necessary to tell the whole story of the Bible. That’s nice to know, because it makes the thought of sharing the Gospel a little less daunting.
 
2. It is not an explanation of how Christians think or behave
            Sometimes we get in conversations about why Christians do or do not do certain things, and while those are good conversations to have, we need to realize that talking about some part of a Christian lifestyle is not the same as sharing the Gospel. So if you explain to someone why Christians don’t use the Lord’s name in vain, that’s good—but it’s not the same thing as sharing the Gospel.
 
The Heart of the Gospel—1 Corinthians 15:1-8
            So what is the Gospel? The Apostle Paul reveals the heart of it in 1 Corinthians 15:1-8 [READ].
            These verses present two main claims about Jesus, which form the heart of the Gospel. For each claim, there is also a piece of evidence or proof given that establishes the truth of the claim. The first claim is that Christ died for our sins. The proof of this is that he was buried. The second claim is that He was raised on the third day. The proof of this claim is that he appeared to many different people.
            It is the claims mentioned here that form the heart of the Gospel. The proofs are important, of course, because they tell us that the claims are true, but when you are sharing the Gospel with someone else, it’s not entirely necessary to emphasize the proofs unless the other person asks for some reasons to believe the claims. And so, it is these claims about Jesus—that He died for our sins and then was raised—that form the core of this message that we call “the Gospel.”
            Notice two other details from this passage—details that also form a central part of the Gospel. Paul stated in v. 3 that it was Christ who died for our sins. This little word reminds us of what people must believe about Jesus in order to be saved.
            Remember that the word “Christ” is not Jesus’ last name. In fact, it’s not part of His name at all; rather, it’s a title that describes who Jesus is. The title “Christ” means “anointed one” or “chosen one,” so Paul’s usage of the title here reminds us that it wasn’t just a mere man who died for our sins—it was God’s chosen one. And why was Jesus God’s chosen one? Because He was in fact the Son of God—fully divine, just as God the Father is divine.
            So this truth must also be communicated when we share the Gospel. The only reason why Jesus’ death had any benefit for us at all is because He was the Christ—God’s own Son, designated (or anointed or chosen) to be the Savior of the world.
            And how is it that we receive the benefits that Christ’s death and resurrection have provided for us? That’s what Paul told us in vv. 1-2—“which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved.” We receive forgiveness for our sins simply by receiving it from Christ—accepting Him for who He is, and resting in what He has done for us.
            This picture of “standing” upon the Gospel is a helpful one for explaining what it means to accept Jesus in faith. As far as my confidence of being forgiven is concerned, I take my stand entirely upon these facts—that the Son of God died for my sins and was raised on the third day. I stand on that foundation and no other. I don’t have one foot on Christ and one foot on my own good works—no, I have both feet planted firmly on Christ.
 
So these verses in 1 Corinthians 15 give us the heart of the Gospel. Christ, God’s chosen one—the very Son of God—died for my sins and was raised on the third day. I receive forgiveness for my sins simply by receiving Christ—in other words, taking my stand upon what He accomplished for me. That is the heart of the message that we desire to share with others so that they can be saved. But how might approach the actual act of sharing that message?
 
How Can We Share the Gospel?
            Obviously, there are many different ways that we can share this message. The variety is just as wide as the variety of people we meet and the variety of conversations that we have. Perhaps in your life you have memorized certain ways of sharing the Gospel, such as the Romans Road. These can be good and helpful, but above all, it is most important to simply have the heart of the Gospel clearly defined in your own mind so that you are free to share this message in a variety of ways.
 
Telling Your Own Conversion Story
            Today, though, I would like you to think about how you could share the Gospel in the context of telling your own conversion story. I’d like to suggest this thought for two reasons.
 
Why share your story?
 
1. Our culture places a high value on a person’s life story/personal perspective.
            Now, our culture does take this respect way too far by saying that I can decide what’s true for me from the context of my life story, and you can decide what’s true for you from the context of your life story. That’s going too far, but nevertheless, our culture does consider it a virtue to show respect for another person’s life story or personal perspective, so we can use that fact to our advantage.
 
2. Sharing your conversion story is less intimidating and is not directly confrontational
            It is less intimidating in part because it is a more natural conversation. We talk about our lives with lots of friends and acquaintances all the time. We talk about what we did over the weekend, where we grew up; we talk about our hobbies. So when we talk about our conversion stories, it’s a pretty natural step from the kinds of conversations that we have all the time.
            It’s also a less intimidating approach because it’s easier to remember. We can all remember our conversion stories because we lived through them. If you’re trying to rely on a memorized presentation, though, there’s always that fear that you might forget the next verse you’re supposed to quote!
            Also, sharing your story is not directly confrontational. Someone might dismiss your story, but they can’t really argue with it. They might say, “I’m glad that’s worked for you,” but they can’t honestly say, “You’re lying! You didn’t find comfort in the Gospel during that hard time in your life!”
 
Two Ways to Structure Your Story
            Even though you know your own conversion story well, it can still be helpful to think about how to share your story. If you have even a very simple outline in mind, it can help you share clearly and make sure you emphasize the Gospel. Let me suggest two different outlines that might be a good fit for your story.
 
1. For an older conversion or dramatic conversion
            If you were saved a little later in life or you had a very dramatic change when you were saved, you might structure your story like so. First, share what life was like for you before you were saved. Highlight some of the problems that the Gospel solved for you. Perhaps you dealt with a lot of hopelessness or shame, or your lifestyle was very destructive toward yourself and others.
            Then, talk about when you accepted Christ. At this point, you would be careful to mention those claims that form the heart of the Gospel—that Christ died for our sins and was raised on the third day.
            Finally, you would describe how your life has changed since you accepted Christ. At this point, you could touch on how Christ has made all the difference for the problems you mentioned before—He has given you hope, He has taken away your shame, He has empowered you to change in ways you never thought possible.
 
2. For a younger conversion or less dramatic conversion
            For some of us, we don’t have much to talk about when it comes to our pre-conversion years because we were saved at a young age. Yes, maybe we lived like horrible heathens, but then we turned six and got saved! There’s not much for us to share about our life before Christ, so what we want to emphasize is how life with Christ has made all the difference.
            Here’s how we might approach our story, then: talk first about the grand sweep of your life. You might highlight some particular highs and lows, joys and sorrows. If the person you’re talking to is going through a struggle that you’ve faced, then naturally you might want to highlight that fact.
            Then, bring it all back to Christ and the Gospel. Explain to them that through it all, what Christ did for you has made all the difference. And of course, this is where you would emphasize the core claims of the Gospel about Christ’s death for your sins and His resurrection.
 
            However you share it, the Gospel is a message worthy of being proclaimed, because it tells of a Savior who is worthy of being praised. As the Scripture says, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach good news (Romans 10:15)!” And good news is precisely what we have!
            So let us never be ashamed of the Gospel! Whether others realize it yet or not, it is good news for their souls. And how will they realize it if we do not tell them?

            As I’ve grown more mature, I believe I’ve developed the ability to stay fairly patient with people who hurt me or insult me. But when someone hurts my children, that’s a totally different story! That’s when my claws come out, and it takes everything I’ve got not to lose my cool.
            When someone hurts my children, I take that personally, and I can’t just pretend like it’s no big deal. To put it another way, I can’t be good friends with someone who isn’t good to my children. If you want to be close to me, you have to treat my children well because I love them dearly.
            According to the Bible, your relationship with God contains that very same principle. As God’s child, if you want to have a close, friendly bond with him, you must show love to your brothers and sisters in Christ. The way you treat them will either help you get close to God or it will hinder you from doing so. In fact, as we’ll learn today, we cannot truly say that we love God well if we do not love his children.
            This truth may rub you the wrong way if you are inclined to think of your relationship with God as an intensely personal sort of thing. It can be tempting to view our intimacy with God as being the sum total of nothing more than how much time we spend in prayer and how much time we spend in Bible study. If that’s true, then our relationships with other people don’t even factor into that equation.
            But the Bible forces us to factor other people into our relationship with God. Your relationship with the Lord certainly does have its personal elements, but what I hope you will see from God’s Word today is that it also has its interpersonal elements.
            Allow me to clarify one thing before we begin to look at some passages together. Some people have interpreted these passages as tests that you can use to measure whether or not you are truly born again. I do not interpret these passages in that way, and I would encourage you not to do so either. I think that interpretive approach has too many theological problems to be a good interpretation. Rather, I think these passages help me as a born-again person to measure whether I am walking in close friendship with the Lord or not. I would encourage you to keep these thoughts in mind as we proceed.
 
To Love God, You Must Love Others
            The Apostle John tells us in his characteristically blunt fashion in 1 John 4:20-21: “If anyone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.”
            To John, the issue is cut and dry – if you think you’re loving God well but you hate your brother in Christ, you’re lying! You may not be trying to deceive yourself or anyone else, but that is the reality because loving your brother is part of what it means to love God. In the same way that staying faithful to your spouse is part of what it means to love them, loving your Christian family is part of what it means to love God.
            Now why does John place so much emphasis on sight and love? I think it’s because for John, love is truly expressed through the tangible sacrifices that we make for each other. I show love to you when I make a tangible sacrifice to meet the needs that I can see that you have. Notice what the Apostle wrote back in 3:16-18: “By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.”
            Also, the fact that we are physically together gives me extra motivation to love you. We’ve all heard that old phrase, “Out of sight, out of mind.” It’s easy to forget to think about someone if you don’t see them. But since I see you often, I can see it in your face when you’re sad about something, or I can see it when you might be in need of something that is necessary for life. The fact that I can see your needs should tug at my heartstrings and draw out the love that I am supposed to show to you.
            So I simply cannot claim that I am loving God well if I am not loving you well. This is easy to understand by comparison with our biological families. If I am causing pain and anguish for my siblings, how could I say, “I’m being a great child toward my parents?” That claim doesn’t fly with our biological families, and it doesn’t fly in the family of God either.
 
So we must love each other, and also…
 
We Must Forgive Each Other
            When we took a look at The Lord’s Prayer two weeks ago, we read these words from the Lord Jesus: “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses (Matthew 6:14-15).”
            In our day and age of cell phones, we’ve all had the experience of having poor reception. Perhaps we’re in an area with a weak signal, or something else might be causing interference. Whatever it is, when someone tries to get in touch with us, their call doesn’t get through because we have poor reception.
            Well, according to Christ, unforgiveness in my heart causes my prayer to have poor reception with God, so to speak. My behavior toward you has created a barrier in my interaction with God. It’s not enough for me to just faithfully follow my Bible reading plan or faithfully work through my prayer list. Until I correct my behavior toward you, that barrier will remain in my relationship with God.
            We saw the same kind of idea a few months ago when we were studying 1 Peter. In his instructions to husbands, Peter wrote this: “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered (1 Peter 3:7).”
 
            So from these passages, it should be clear – your relationship with God is not just a private matter between you and the Lord. Certainly, some parts of it are, but the way that you behave toward other people also factors into that relationship and affects the degree to which you enjoy a close friendship with God.
            So if we want to have a good relationship with the Lord, we must also have good relationships with other people by loving them and forgiving them when need be. When we will do that, we will find not only a greater unity with the Lord, but a greater unity with each other as well, and that unity will serve as a powerful testimony to the world that the message we proclaim about Jesus is true.
 
The Power of Unity for Our Proclamation of Truth
            Did you know that Jesus literally prayed for you and me on the night before he died? Christians who weren’t even alive yet at that time – he had us on the mind, and he prayed for us. Notice what he said in John 17:20-23: “I do not ask for these only [meaning the 11 disciples, minus Judas], but also for those who will believe in me through their word.” That’s you and me and all believers who have not seen Jesus in the flesh but have believed in him through the apostles’ testimony in the Bible.
            And what was his desire for us on that night? “That they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us.” Jesus prayed that we would have unity – the same kind of unity of mind, desire, and purpose that he has with God the Father.
            And why did he desire that unity for us? What purpose would such unity accomplish? “So that the world may believe that you have sent me.” When we live in unity, our fellowship has the power to convince people that Jesus truly is the son of God, sent into this world to save mankind.
            Can people learn that by reading about Jesus in the Bible? Certainly they can, but sadly, people have all sorts of ingenious ways of evading the plain truth that they read from these pages. But when they see us living in love, with a unity that our world has never achieved, they will not be able to deny that Jesus has the power to change the hearts of mankind, and the only way that he could have such power is if he is the Son of God.
            Jesus continued his prayer for us: “The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.” How will we ever convince the world that we have been saved by a supernatural love if we cannot get along with each other? If they see us bickering and fighting with each other, why would they ever believe that we represent the God who is love itself?
            But if we show them godly unity and love, we give tangible proof of the truthfulness of the Gospel message that we proclaim. So when we love each other, not only do we enjoy close friendship with God, not only do we enjoy close friendship with each other, but we also draw others into the same kind of relationship with God that we enjoy. For we who have received the love of God, should we desire anything less than to see others enjoy that love as well? May we display the unifying power of God’s love in our lives today!
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            We all know that communication is very important in relationships, but sometimes our communication with others can be hindered by nothing more than that nagging feeling that we just don’t know what to say to them. Every one of us has avoided conversations at times because we felt like we just didn’t know what to say to that other person, or if we did have some thoughts in mind, we didn’t know how to express them in just the right words.
            As we’ve been learning in this series recently, we have a cycle of communication in our relationship with God – he communicates with us through the Bible, and we communicate to him through prayer. As with all of our other relationships, our efforts to communicate with God through prayer can be hindered by that same old feeling that we just don’t know what to say.
            Fortunately for us, Jesus has given us a model prayer that teaches us the kinds of thoughts and statements that we should express to God when we pray. By getting more familiar with this model prayer, we can get a better understanding of what we should say to God when we pray. So today, we’re going to take a look at what we usually call “The Lord’s Prayer,” as it is recorded in Matthew 6:9-13.
 
A Striking Observation
            Once you find that passage in your Bible, if you will just take a glance over the page on which it’s written, you might notice something rather striking about this model prayer – it’s not very long at all! The Lord’s Prayer only takes about 25 seconds to read out loud, and that’s if you read it carefully with great expression!
            Now it could be that this model prayer is short because it is, after all, only a model, an example. We know that these verses don’t say everything that Jesus wanted to communicate about prayer because he had more to say about prayer at other times in his teaching.
            But it could be that the length of this model prayer is meant to teach us that our prayers don’t necessarily have to be very long. I believe we get the same impression when we remember what Jesus had to say back in verses 7-8 [READ Matt 6:7-8].
            Notice the main point of these verses – a multitude of words does not make our prayers more effective, so we should not think that they do. We don’t need to drone on and on because our Father knows what we need before we ask him. These observations have led me to think that it is okay – and perhaps even preferable – to keep our prayers short.
            This thought may not be earth-shattering to you, but I’ve got to tell you, it’s been very challenging to me. To be honest, I think I’ve spent most of my life believing that effective prayers have to be long prayers – in other words, if I want to have any chance of God answering my prayer, I need to make it long.
            I don’t know when or where I picked up that idea, but I can tell you, it really has affected my prayer life. For a long time now, I know I’ve thought that if I want to truly have a “good” prayer time, I’d better be prepared to pray for at least 20 or 30 minutes – the longer the better, even if I wind up repeating myself, and even if I find my mind wandering a lot during that time.
            But as I’ve started to reflect on Matthew 6 and some other passages of Scripture, I’ve started to think that a much better principle to follow might be this:
 
When you pray, say what’s on your heart, then say no more.
 
            At times, you may have many people that you’d like to pray for in the same prayer, or you may have a heavy burden that you need to bring to God. Those prayers will naturally be longer, and of course, there’s nothing wrong with that! But at other times, you may simply want to say “thank you” for a small blessing or you may need to confess a sin that you’ve become aware of. I believe we should feel free to simply say those things without feeling like we have to make a 10-minute production out of our prayer.
            Effective prayers are not necessarily long prayers. When you’ve said all that’s on your heart, that will suffice. Don’t drone on with half-hearted words just because you feel like your prayer needs to be a certain length. Say what’s on your heart, then say no more.
 
A Well-Balanced Prayer Diet
            Now I do believe that The Lord’s Prayer mentions the kinds of thoughts that we need to express in our overall habits of prayer. We don’t want to neglect any of these thoughts even though we may not include all of them in every single prayer we pray.
            To help us remember these thoughts, I’d like to tie The Lord’s Prayer together with a commonly used acronym that serves as a helpful memory device. It’s the acronym ACTS. As we go through this acronym, please don’t think of this as a hard-and-fast outline that each of your prayers must follow. Think of it more like a guide for a well-balanced prayer diet. You can achieve a well-balanced diet for your body even if you don’t eat foods from every food group in each meal. Likewise, you can have a good balance in your prayer life even if you don’t touch on every part of this acronym in every prayer that you pray.
 
A—Adoration
            The letter “A” in this acronym stands for adoration. That word refers to statements that express our praise to God or our love for Him.
            In The Lord’s Prayer, we find adoration expressed in the statements, “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.” The Lord’s name refers not just to the title that we might use for Him, but to His reputation and His fame as well. It’s similar to when we say, “So-and-so is really making a name for himself.”
            “Hallowed” is not a word that we use often. We may use it at times to refer to the “hallowed grounds” of a battlefield, and we mean that that location has a sacredness to it and is worthy of special honor because of its history.
            So “hallowed be your name” might be paraphrased as “may you receive the unique honor that you deserve.” It’s a statement that expresses how valuable we believe God is, and that He’s worthy of our love and honor. These are ideas, then, that we want to regularly express to God in our prayers.
 
C—Confession
            The “C” in this acronym stands for confession. In this model prayer, Jesus teaches us to confess our sins to God when he says, “and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” Notice how Jesus ties this aspect of our relationship with God together with the way that we treat other people. Tuck that thought in the back of your mind for now, because that idea is going to be the subject of another sermon soon to come. We’ll talk about how our relationship with God is affected by the way that we treat other people.
            For now, I want you to remember that this model prayer is given for people who can call God “Father.” In other words, it is given for followers of Christ – Christians. This little observation would teach us that even after we have become born-again, there is still a need for us to confess our sins to God and ask him for forgiveness.
            It’s not that we’re asking him to save us all over again or to adopt us into his family all over again. The reality is this – when we are born again, our relationship with God moves out of the courtroom and into the living room, because we are his children now, we’re family. And as with any family, we have a need to ask for forgiveness when we have done hurtful things that bring grief to our family members.
            And so, we need to confess our sins to God when we become aware of them. If you sense that you are not regularly aware of your sins, ask God to give you a greater sensitivity toward your sins. If we ask God to make it clear to us when we have sinned, I think he will be happy to answer that prayer.
 
T—Thanksgiving
            The “T” in this acronym stands for thanksgiving. Ironically, we don’t find the words “thank you” in this prayer, although we can certainly see gratitude peeking out from between the lines of these verses.
            Other passages of Scripture make it clear that we should offer thanks to God in our prayers. For example, Philippians 4:6 says, “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” Colossians 4:2 likewise says, “Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.”
            If we would keep this thought in mind, we would find ourselves with numerous opportunities every day to say thank you to God. In fact, this could be a good way to carry out the command of 1 Thessalonians 5:17 to “pray without ceasing.” If we would offer a very brief prayer of thanks to the Lord as our various blessings come to mind, we would find ourselves saying thank you quite often.
 
S—Supplication
            The final letter in this acronym stands for supplication, which is just a fancier word for “making requests.” This may be the most humbling truth about prayer – we are invited to bring our requests to the Lord. It certainly makes sense for us to speak statements of adoration, to confess our sins, and to thank the Lord because after all – we are speaking to our superior, our Creator and Savior. The fact that he is willing to hear our requests is an example of sheer grace.
            We see supplication communicated in the three statements of this prayer: 1) your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven; 2) give us this day our daily bread; and 3) and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
            Notice how the first statement of supplication is based on promises that God had already made. He had already promised that he would establish his kingdom of righteousness in this world; he had already promised that one day his will would be done on earth as it is in heaven. So Jesus was teaching us that some of our requests at least should be informed by and fueled by the promises that God has made in the Bible.
            So for example, we can request that Christ would return soon; we can request that God would show us how his strength is made perfect in our weakness; we can request that God would make his presence with us clear to us, since he promised that he would be with us always. Knowing God’s promises, then, gives us an important base of knowledge that should influence what we ask for in prayer.
            As far as the other two examples of supplication, notice how they give us a balance between our physical needs and our spiritual needs. We need to pray about both kinds of needs without neglecting one or the other. Sometimes our physical needs can feel so urgent that they dominate our prayers and leave us with little energy or concentration to pray for our spiritual needs. On the other hand, it might feel selfish at times to pray about your own physical needs when you remember the great spiritual needs of so many people all around you.
            The goal would be to not get off-balance in either direction. Remember your physical needs and remember your spiritual needs. Remember your own needs and remember the needs of others.
 
            So by learning some lessons from this model prayer, we don’t have to remain tongue-tied whenever we pause to pray. With these thoughts as our guide, we can simply say what is on our hearts, then we don’t have to feel pressure to say more, as though God has a minimum word count requirement for our prayers. With Christ’s example before us, may prayer become more delightful to us all the time.
​

            Teachers and their students have a rather ironic relationship when you think about it. On the one hand, teachers are given the responsibility of enforcing the academic standards of the classroom. They are the ones who test the students and evaluate them, and ultimately they are the ones who give the students a grade.
            But on the other hand, teachers are also the ones who give their students the most help to meet the academic standards of the classroom. They are their students’ greatest resource and biggest supporters at the school. So at the very same time, teachers are enforcing the standards and giving their students the most help in meeting those standards. That’s kind of ironic, don’t you think?
            In a similar way, we also see this irony in prayer. God, of course, is the one whom we pray to, asking him to hear our appeals, but as we are going to learn today, he is also the one who gives us the most help in prayer. So as we make our appeals to him, he is – at the very same time – the one who gives us the most help in offering our prayers.
            Today we will see how the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit each work in various ways to encourage us to pray and to help us overcome the general weakness that hounds us as we journey through a fallen world. We can be very encouraged today to see just how much God assists us so that we might pray!
 
We will look at each of the members of the Trinity in turn.
 
1. The Father draws us into prayer through His kindness
            To see this truth, we can review some of what we learned last week in Matthew 6:7-8. In those verses, Jesus contrasted the way that the Gentiles prayed with the way that we should pray. The Gentiles had no particular reason to think that their gods cared about them, but we enjoy a very different relationship with our God. He is actually our father, as Jesus reminds us in verse eight, and when we remember how he sent his own son to die for us so that he might forgive us and adopt us as his own children, we have reason to believe that God’s ears are open to our prayers because of the kindness of his heart.
            So when my mind says, “Do you really think God will care about what I pray?”, my spirit can say, “Yes, because I am his child, and he has shown such a great love to create this relationship.” So God’s kind love draws us to pray to him by convincing us that he cares and that he really will consider what we have to say.
 
Since we spent a little more time on that last week, let’s move on now to see how the Son helps us in prayer.
 
2. The Son leads us into prayer through His sympathy and intercession
            To learn more about this truth, I’d like you to turn with me to the book of Hebrews. If you’ve ever wondered, “What is Jesus up to right now?”, the book of Hebrews tells us about one of his present-day activities. In the early chapters of this book, we learn that Jesus is in heaven serving as our high priest before the Father. That is a very rich image from the Old Testament, but today we might be a little more familiar with the idea of an ambassador or advocate – someone who represents our interests in the presence of an authority figure.
            This is one way in which Jesus is helping us right now. Notice how Hebrews 2:14-18 describes this [READ Heb 2:14-18]. Jesus knows what it’s like to deal with the weakness of a human body. He understands the temptation to be grouchy when you haven’t had enough sleep, or to be impatient when someone makes one more request of you after you’re already worn out. He understands these things because he has been through them, too.
            The author of Hebrews picks up this theme again in 4:14-16 [READ 4:14-16]. How wonderful that Jesus can sympathize with our weaknesses! He has been through the same struggles that we’ve faced, so he can serve as a merciful advocate. This should give us great encouragement to pray to God.
            Don’t we all find ourselves less than enthusiastic sometimes to talk to people who haven’t been through the things we’ve been through? We don’t feel very eager to talk to someone when we think that they just can’t understand what we’ve experienced. We may still labor through a conversation, but it’s likely to be hindered because of those feelings.
            Sometimes as we walk through life in this fallen world and we consider prayer, we find ourselves thinking, “What does God know about pain and suffering? He’s way off, somewhere up there in heaven being worshiped by angels. How could he really understand what I’m going through?”
            It is for that very reason that the Bible reminds us about the experiences and sufferings of the Lord Jesus and tells us that he is right there in the presence of the Father to sympathize with us and to intercede for us.
            Consider the variety of hardships that Jesus faced in his life, and consider if he can understand what you have been through. He likely lived in a level of poverty that none of us has ever experienced. If our historical research today is correct, he grew up in a home that was carved out of a cave – literally a hole in the ground! Every one of us lives in great comfort compared to that!
            Also, from the biblical story, we have very good reason to think that Jesus’ adoptive father, Joseph, died during Jesus’ lifetime. Jesus would know, then, what it is like to feel the grief of losing a parent.
            Jesus also knows what its like to be misunderstood and opposed by your own family. We read a couple of times in the Gospels that his brothers thought he was crazy and tried to bring him back home from preaching all over the countryside.
            Jesus knows what it is like to live under the heavy hand of an oppressive government; he knows what it is like to pay unfair taxes; he knows what it is like to receive injustice at the hands of a judicial system; he knows what it is like to be stolen from; he knows what it’s like to be betrayed by your best friend; he knows what it’s like to face public humiliation.
            Do you remember that he even knows what it’s like to feel abandoned by God? As he bore our sins on the cross, there was that fateful moment when Jesus cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Perhaps in that moment, Jesus felt the full weight of the Father’s anger toward sin. He would know what it’s like, then, to feel that God Himself is opposed to you.
            And let us not forget what the author of Hebrews emphasized—Jesus has experienced every kind of temptation that we have. So when we speak to God in prayer, we know that we have a great high priest in Jesus Christ—an advocate who truly understands what we’re going through because he’s been there. Since God did not remain distant from the pain of this world but stepped down into it and experienced it, he is sympathetic toward our needs and is able to commiserate with us.
 
3. The Holy Spirit helps us in prayer to overcome our weakness
            In Romans 8, we learn about an incredible ministry that the Holy Spirit performs to help us in prayer. Beginning in Romans 8:18, the Apostle Paul discusses the tension that we feel between the sufferings of this present time and the glory that awaits us as children of God. According to Paul, the glory that is to be revealed is incomparable, but at the present time our souls ache and groan because we live under the curse of sin.
            Our natural limitations as creatures are only exaggerated by the effects of sin on our bodies and our minds, and so in this sense we live in a general state of weakness. Should we despair, then, because of our weakness? No—just look here at verse 26: “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought.”
            Now, I don’t believe Paul is saying, “Shame on you! You should know better than to ask for the things you ask for.” No, I think he’s saying that we cannot always know what to pray for. We pray according to the best of our knowledge, but our knowledge is limited. Sometimes this life can be so disorienting that we don’t even know where to begin when we speak to God. We don’t know whether to ask for this or to ask for that.
            There’s certainly nothing wrong with praying for the things we desire to have come about, but in our limited knowledge, we just don’t know exactly what God’s plan will be. Before I ever met Carmen, I spent a whole summer praying that a certain girl would become my wife. We were good friends, and I’d heard from some mutual friends that she was interested in me, so I had some high hopes. During that summer, I can remember frequently taking walks in the evening, praying that God would bring us together and anticipating what that would be like, because I had high confidence that God would grant my request.
            Well, when the school year started up, we reconnected and re-kindled our friendship. After about three weeks, I asked her out on a date, and would you know that I didn’t even get one date with that girl? She politely declined, and I asked her if this was a “no” for now or a “no” for good, and she said it was a “no” for good.
            I couldn’t believe it! I had prayed about it for months, and I thought it would be a great match, but God declined that request because he had a different plan in mind.
            Now, I didn’t know that, and I couldn’t have known that, so should we just give up on prayer, then, because of this confusion? No, we can offer our prayers and trust in what the Spirit will do for us. Continued reading in v. 26—“but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.”
            Just think of this grace and sympathy—the Holy Spirit supplements our prayers to bring them into accord with the will of God. He speaks up for us even when we don’t know what to say, or when we might say something amiss.
            Since I’ve had children, I’ve come to learn that I can often understand what they’re trying to say even when other people can’t. I know how they say things and when they might mix up certain words, so if they’re talking to someone else and not getting through, I can usually step in and say, “Here’s what they were trying to say.”
            Perhaps that’s how we should think of the Holy Spirit’s help for us. As we struggle to communicate our desires to God or the depths of our grief, the Holy Spirit intercedes and says, “Here’s what they’re really trying to say.”
            If I could put all of God’s help for us in prayer into one picture, I think it would look like this—the Father stands out in front of us, calling us through kindness to come to him in prayer. As he calls, Jesus stands beside us and takes us by the arm, saying, “Yes! I’ve been where you are. This is the right step to take. Go to him and you’ll find mercy and grace.” Behind us, with a hand on our shoulder, ready to steady us, is the Holy Spirit, saying, “Go ahead. Don’t worry—I’ll help you!”
            Though we appeal to God in prayer, he is the very one who gives us the most help for our prayers. So don’t decline his kind-hearted call to ask, seek, and knock. Don’t think that he can’t understand, because Jesus can—and He does! Don’t worry if you’re not entirely settled on what to say, because the Holy Spirit will help you. Let us take advantage of this great outpouring of help from the Lord.
​

            When I play board games, I’m the kind of person who likes to play as an individual. If a game is designed for me to have a teammate, that’s fine—I can live with that. But sometimes, I find myself at a gathering that has 12 people, but we have a board game that only allows for four players. Now what? Some of you don’t mind just pairing up with another person, but I would rather bow out and watch everyone else play than play with someone as a team.
            The reason for that is pretty silly, to be honest—when I think I have a winning strategy, I get so stubborn that I don’t want to have to work with anyone else! They may not see the obvious superiority of my strategy, and they may have the audacity to suggest a different plan!
            Playing a board game as an individual is one thing, but there are some activities in life that simply require partnership and cooperation. Communication is definitely in that category. We’ve all been in one-sided conversations before, and we can all attest that they are a far cry from real communication. Communication truly is a two-way street; it involves sharing and receiving. If only one person is truly interested or active in a conversation, communication simply will not take place.
            In the last couple of weeks, we’ve learned that God communicates to us through the Bible. Today, we’re going to start talking about how we communicate to God, and that is through prayer. Along with obedience, prayer forms a major part of how we respond to what God communicates to us in the Bible.
            Since prayer does form a major part of our response to God, it’s just like God to give us plenty of teaching about it in the Bible. Today, we’re going to start taking a look at the model prayer that Jesus gave us which we often call “The Lord’s Prayer.” We’ll take a close look at the Lord’s lead-in to that prayer in the Sermon on the Mount, and in that lead-in we will find the roots of fruitful praying.
 
The Roots of Fruitful Praying
            If I had to sum it up, I would say that the roots of fruitful praying are to pray in a manner that fits with what our God is like. We must pray in a way that is befitting the kind of character that God has, as He has revealed it to us through His promises and actions. In that light, we find two attitudes in Matthew 6:7-8 that could give us a disease in the very roots of our prayer lives if we don’t watch out for them.
 
Diseased Attitudes About Prayer
 
1. God can be manipulated into answering my prayers
            Notice the warning that Jesus gives us in Matthew 6:7 – “And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words.” Let me focus here not so much on what these non-Jewish people did, but on what they thought – they thought their prayers would be heard because of their own actions. Their confidence for answered prayer was not in their god, but in whether or not they did things in the proper way.
            In this case, Jesus highlighted the practice of offering long, drawn-out prayers, but the actions could be anything. He could’ve mentioned offering the proper sacrifices or demonstrating sorrow in a visible way like cutting yourself, because those were also common practices among the Gentiles.
            This attitude toward prayer is a hallmark of false religion. There are many examples of this notion that I can make my prayers effective by my own actions. Consider the Muslim habit of prayer, for example. They believe that their prayers will be effective if they offer them at precisely the right times of day, facing the proper direction, and with the proper order of standing, kneeling, and bowing. Or we could consider Hindu practices, such as crawling for miles to a temple in order to show your sorrow over your sins.
            Whenever I start to think that I can force God’s hand by something that I do, I am catching a disease at the roots of my prayer life. Yet it’s very easy to slip into this mindset. I might think to myself, “If I just get down on my knees and stay there until my knees are raw and my back aches, then God will see how serious I am about this prayer business, and he will answer my prayer.” Or I might think, “If I can just work myself into tears about this, then God will see how desperately I desire this request, and he will give it to me.”
            I have a friend who preached at a church one time, and during the course of the service he prayed a prayer from the pulpit. After the service, the elders of that church were furious with him because he didn’t end his prayer in the way that they thought was necessary. They told him that he had to end his prayer with, “In Jesus name I pray.” They thought his prayer wouldn’t be effective with any other ending.
            My friends, let me be clear about this – when God grants us what we request, it is not because of anything we have done, but simply because of what God is like. He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness. He is willing to answer prayer because he is good, not because we have made him cry “Uncle!” by using the right postures or the right phrases.
 
Remembering what God is really like is the key to avoiding the second diseased attitude.
 
2. God needs to be convinced to care about me
            The Lord continued his teaching on prayer by saying this in verse eight: “Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” In their religions, the Gentiles had no reason to think that their gods really cared about them. Perhaps their gods kept tabs on them, but there wasn’t really a notion of personal concern or affection.
            For that reason, their prayers were more like uninvited interruptions, and if you’re going to interrupt your god and make a request, it had better be good, right? You had better speak eloquently, or you better offer lots of compliments. Or better yet, you might try to butter him up by offering some gifts or making some vows.
            But what a drastically different situation we face when we pray to the true and living God – the God of the Bible! As Jesus reminds us here, he is our Father, and one way he demonstrates that is by keeping up with our needs – anticipating them and knowing them before we even realize that we have them!
            When we go to God in prayer, we are like a weary traveler who stops at a home to ask for shelter only to find that the table has already been set for our arrival! The bedsheets have already been turned down in expectation of our visit! Prayer is not a means to convince God to care about us because he already does!
            When we feel like God needs to be convinced to care about us, the result is that we will not pray about very many things. We will consider most things to be too insignificant to merit God’s attention, so we won’t pray about them. Consequently, we will miss out on a multitude of opportunities for God to strengthen our faith by showing his faithfulness through his compassion and care.
            We know God cares about the “big” problems in our lives. We know he cares when we are diagnosed with a devastating disease, or when we receive that eviction notice – but does he still care when we’ve lost our car keys for the third time in a week and we have to get to an appointment? Should we think that we have an invitation to pray even about that, or should we feel like it would be an interruption?
            I’ve certainly had my ups and downs with battling this prayer disease, but I can tell you that when I have chosen to pray to God about the “little” things, he has so often delighted my heart by showing me that he cares. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve prayed that we could find a child’s blanky at bedtime! And you know what? We still have their blankies!
            I remember a time a few summers ago when I was briefly working for Matthew over at United Suppliers. I was driving a delivery truck, and I usually had to leave pretty early in the morning to make my deliveries. On one particular morning I arrived at the warehouse and for some reason, my key simply would not unlock the door! It was like someone had changed the lock; I just couldn’t get in.
            Because it was so early, I didn’t want to call Matthew and bother him, so I said a prayer something like this: “Lord, I really don’t want to have to bother Matthew right now, but our customers need this delivery. Would you please help me get into the building?” I don’t know if an angel came and straightened out my key or something, but I put it back in the lock, and that knob turned as if it had just been freshly oiled!
            When we fail to pray about the little things, we miss out on so many opportunities for God to show his concern and to build our faith. God cares about you, and he even cares about the little details of life. You don’t have to convince him to care, so go to him with all of your concerns.
 
Now that we have dismissed these diseased attitudes about prayer, we might be left asking ourselves…
 
What is Prayer All About?
            If prayer is not a way to make God work for me, what is it all about? If it’s not a method to convince God to care about me (since he already does!), then what is its purpose? If it’s not even a tool to inform God about my needs (since he already knows them), then what is it really for? By remembering that prayer is part of a cycle of communication, I think we can readily see one purpose.
 
1. It is a way to express my love to God
            Even if you know that someone loves you deeply, it’s still good to hear it again, isn’t it? And even if I’ve expressed it to my loved ones a thousand times, it’s still good for me to say it again – “I love you!” Expressing your love has an interesting way of expanding your love. When you express your love to God, it reinforces that love and builds it.
            When you pause to pray, that choice communicates that you value your relationship with God. Even if you don’t speak the words “I love you,” your actions demonstrate it. Expressing love is a healthy and vital part of any relationship, and prayer is one of the ways that you can express your love to God.
 
And when we think about what God wants to build in our lives, I think we can see another purpose for prayer.
 
2. It is a way to express and cultivate humility in my heart
            Whenever you pray to God to thank him for something or ask him for something, that act is a tacit admission that you cannot live this life on your own. Praying to God reveals that you understand your need for him; praying to him even about the little things in life demonstrates that you know you need his power and intervention every moment of the day.
            Perhaps more than anything, a lack of prayer should be seen as a symptom not of busyness or forgetfulness, but of pride. When I do not pray frequently, my actions express that I believe I can make it through most of life just fine on my own. In those moments, I am treating God more like a safety net than a shepherd, as if he is simply something for me to fall on when I’m in trouble rather than a kind master whom I have to trust for every need in my life.
            I’m starting to think that the main reason that God answers prayer is this – because prayer expresses humility, and God has promised to give grace to the humble. James and the Apostle Peter both remind us that God is opposed to the proud but gives grace to the humble. Because God is good, he delights to respond with kindness and grace toward those who humbly approach him.
            Why would we ever hesitate to pray to a God like that? Why should we ever doubt whether he cares about the things that concern us? He has given us this wonderful way to express our love and our humility to him. May we not be negligent to use it!
​

            When I graduated from high school, I walked across the stage with people who were my best friends in the whole world. Some of them I had known since I was in kindergarten, and I had so many great memories with them. On that day, I couldn’t have even imagined that just one year later, I would have very little contact with most of those people.
            That’s how it goes for many people with their high school friends, and it’s all because communication dies off. When you were in school together, it didn’t take any effort at all to communicate. You saw them every day, you were in the same classes and activities together, and so you were always communicating.
            But after graduation, you may have gone to different schools; you now lived in different places. All of a sudden, communication took effort. You didn’t just run into each other anymore, so now you had to initiate communication if it was going to happen. And for many people, that communication with their high school friends slowly fades away, and the depth of those relationships goes with it.
            This is a principle that’s as certain as death and taxes – if you don’t communicate with someone on a regular basis, the depth of your relationship with them will disappear. Communication is the heartbeat of a relationship, and when that heartbeat grows weak, the relationship will atrophy and eventually die.
            A lack of communication with God is likely the main reason why many Christians do not enjoy the close bond with God that they would like to have. Now last week, we learned that the main way in which God has made himself known to us was by sending Jesus into the world. And today, the way that we get to know Jesus is by reading about his teachings and actions in the Bible. So God’s channel of communication to us today is the Bible. If we want to communicate with God, we must hear what he has to say in the Bible.
            Today, I’d like to show you what kinds of ideas and information God communicates to us in the Bible. We have a great summary of these ideas in 2 Timothy 3:16, and alongside that verse I’m going to bring in numerous statements from Psalm 119—a psalm that is all about the Word of God.
 
What kinds of ideas does God communicate to us in the Bible?
            2 Timothy 3:16 is one of the most important verses you will ever read about the Bible. It is the Bible’s testimony about itself, we might say, and the last part of the verse gives us a helpful word picture for understanding what it is that God communicates to us in the Bible. Let’s read this verse, and then we’ll focus on each of the four parts of this word picture [READ 2 Tim. 3:16].
            The picture here is that in the Bible, God reveals to us the proper path to follow in life. He also alerts us if we get off that path and shows us how to get back on the path. Finally, he instructs us in how to stay on the path from that point forward. Let’s look at each of these ideas in turn.
 
Teaching
            In its teaching function, the Bible shows us how to think and how to act in the proper ways. It tells us the true story of how we got here, why we are here, and what we are supposed to do in life. In this way, the Bible shows us the path that we should follow in order to live out God’s will.
            Psalm 119 describes this teaching function in verses 9-11: “How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.”
            Notice the emphasis at the end of verse 11 – if I want to stay on the right path and avoid sin, my heart has to be a warehouse for the word! I have to store up God’s message in my heart so that I can then distribute it to my mind, my emotions, and my will. Otherwise, how will my mind know the proper ways to think? How will my will respond in ways that are proper for me to act? Yes, I can always look up God’s teachings in the Bible when I have a question about them, but that’s a far cry from having those teachings tucked away in my heart to where they become part of me.
            College basketball coaches often talk about how young players think too much when they’re out on the court. The plays aren’t yet like second nature for them; they’re not yet familiar with their teammates’ tendencies, and so young players tend to make a lot of mistakes because all of that information hasn’t yet been internalized. They have to slow down and think about a lot of things, but the game doesn’t slow down for them, and so it forces them into a lot of mistakes.
            Isn’t that just how life comes at us? We have to make 100 decisions off-the-cuff every day! Life has no pause button, so when your toddler throws a fit and your temper flares up, you don’t have the opportunity to say, “Stop! Let me go to Bible Gateway and look up 10 verses on anger.”
            The Bible gives us God’s teachings, and we need to internalize those teachings in order to know them and obey them. Even if you never memorize very many verses word for word, you have to know the essence of God’s message – the gist of it – so that you’ll know how he wants you to think and how he wants you to act.
 
But we don’t always stay on the right path, so God also uses the Bible to express another kind of idea.
 
Reproof
            A reproof is a statement of correction; it’s a declaration that you have done wrong. That’s not always the kind of thing we want to hear, but if we have in fact done wrong, we need to know it! God is very kind to provide reproofs and rebukes for us as we read the Bible. He has accomplished this by naming sinful attitudes and actions in the Bible, so as we study the Word, we discover instances where some of our own behaviors are labeled as being sinful.
            Though it’s not always pleasant to be told that you’ve done wrong, it is necessary and it is very beneficial for us if we will learn from it. The author of Psalm 119 recognized this. In verse 67, he wrote, “Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word.” He repeated that thought just a few verses later in verse 71: “It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes.”
            So reproofs are to the soul what physical pain is to the body. Pain tells us that something is wrong; something about our physical condition needs to be addressed before we have greater and greater problems. Reproofs give us that same kind of alert about our spiritual condition, and so they are very good for our souls if we will respond to them properly.
 
Now God, in his grace, doesn’t just tell us that we’ve done wrong – he also tells us how to correct the situation. And so, we find that the Bible expresses a third kind of idea.
 
Correction
            In the Bible, God also explains to us how to get back on the right path after we have wandered off of it. And so, we read about actions like repentance, which is a change of mind about what we have done. When we repent, we move from thinking that our actions were okay to deciding that they were not acceptable – and in fact they were sinful.
            We also read about an action like confession, in which we express our change of mind to the Lord. When we confess our sins to him, we lay aside any justifications or excuses that we may have had for our actions, and we acknowledge that he is right to call our actions sinful. God encourages us to confess our sins by giving us a promise like that in 1 John 1:9 – “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
            How wonderful it is that God has given us that promise! When we come to understand that we have sinned, we may be devastated by that realization. We can then echo the words of Psalm 119:28 – “My soul melts away for sorrow; strengthen me according to your word!” It is the promise of God that gives us reassurance and comfort after we have gone astray, as the psalmist acknowledges in Psalm 119:58 – “I entreat your favor with all my heart; be gracious to me according to your promise.”
            So once we have repented of our sins and confessed them to God, we are ready to get back on the right track. If we have harmed anyone else by our actions, the Bible also teaches us how to ask for forgiveness and pursue reconciliation with others. So we can leave that bad detour behind us and get going again down the proper path.
 
As we get heading in the right direction again, our desire is to avoid taking any more disastrous detours, and so the fourth kind of idea that God communicates to us is training in righteousness.
 
Training in Righteousness
            As God trains us, he shows us how to stay on the right path even when we might be tempted to go astray. Training in any endeavor is meant to teach us how to successfully accomplish the task that is set out for us. Training on the job is meant to show you how to do what you’ve been hired to do, and so you learn the computer systems that you might have to use or the techniques for your job, and you also get some instruction in how to troubleshoot problems that you may encounter. Training in a sport is meant to teach you the skills that you need to be successful and to train your body and mind for the demands of the game.
            God’s training gives us the “how to” of the Christian life. How do we follow the commands that he has given us? In the Bible, we learn about the resources that we have – like the power of the Holy Spirit, the spiritual gifts that he has given to us, and the bonds of support and encouragement that we have with other Christians.
            God’s training also answers the “why” question about our motivation for obeying him. In the Bible, we learn that even little creatures like ourselves can bring tremendous praise to God as we obey him. We can also gain rewards from him for faithfully obeying his commands. By learning about these things, we come to see that we have tremendous motivation for walking down the path of obedience.
            As we learn about the how and the why of obedience from the Bible, we can learn the attitudes of the psalmist in Psalm 119. We can learn how to obey despite opposition from others – “Even though princes sit plotting against me, your servant will meditate on your statutes (v. 23).” We can learn to honor and adore the Lord as we see his promises carried out – “Confirm to your servant your promise, that you may be feared (v. 38).” We can learn to love and delight in the word of God – “The law of your mouth is better to me than thousands of gold and silver pieces (v. 72).”
 
            God communicates with us through the Bible, so make it a point to regularly read what God has to say in the word. Read it or listen to an audio Bible; memorize it or ask someone else to read it to you. Whatever it takes, get familiar with God’s teachings in the Bible, then continue to learn them until they become part of you – until they control the way that you think before you even think about it; until they direct your will before you even realize it. If you will devote yourself to hearing from God through the Bible, you will find the deep friendship with God that you desire.
 
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​            A few days ago, my family and I were at home, being silly, and my daughter piped up and said, “Take a video and post it on Facebook!” For some reason, I was totally taken aback by her statement. It dawned on me that when I was her age, it wasn’t even possible to make that statement! Internet access at home was still about a dozen years away, and Facebook was even farther still.
            But today, we live in a world where communication is dominated by technology. Many people wonder how well our face-to-face communication skills are going to survive. That’s an important question, because while it can be very convenient to communicate through technology, there’s no good substitute for face-to-face communication.
            We understand this well in our relationships. FaceTime and Skype are great for what they’re worth, but you just can’t beat being in the same room with someone you love. Consistent face-to-face communication really helps a relationship grow deeper.
            This fact presents a bit of a challenge for us, however, when we start talking about having a relationship with God, because we can’t communicate with God face-to-face today. Even though we would love to, we can’t sit down across the table from the Lord and enjoy a cup of coffee together. We cannot choose to visit Heaven and see Him there. So how do we get to know God?
 
How do we get to know God?
            Since we don’t have the same kind of interaction with God that we do with human beings, God has revealed himself or made himself known in a variety of ways so that we can get to know him. The universe that he created gives us a glimpse of his power and wisdom. The way that he gives all people certain good and necessary things like sunshine and rain testifies to his kindness and love. At times, he has communicated with us through messengers like angels and prophets. But above all, God made himself known to us by sending his own Son, the Lord Jesus, to be a flesh-and-blood example or demonstration of what he is like. So more than anything else…
 
We get to know God by getting to know Jesus.
 
            Let me show you how a few passages lay out this truth for us. In John 1 for example, we read in verse one about a divine person whom John simply calls “the Word.” He writes, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” Down in verse 14 then, we read something fascinating about this divine person: “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.”
            Now since we’re familiar with the rest of the story, we know now that the Word is none other than Jesus Christ. But notice what John goes on to say about him in verse 18: “No one has ever seen God; the only God, who is at the Father side, he has made him known.” This verse gets us into some of the deep waters of the Trinity, but notice that the emphasis here is that although we cannot see God ourselves, Jesus has made him known to us. Jesus was a visible display of the nature of God here on Earth.
            The author of Hebrews makes a similar point in the opening verses of that letter [READ vv. 1-2]. Then in verse three, the author gives us two word pictures to show us how Jesus was the visible display of the nature of God here on earth. First, he wrote that Jesus “is the radiance of the glory of God.” For a bit of a modern-day explanation of this word picture, think about the way that we see the sun with our eyes here on Earth. Space travel and technology have allowed us to get pictures of the surface of the sun from outer space, but of course, those images are not what we see with our own eyes here on the ground. We see the rays of light that have come out from the surface of the sun. The dazzling rays are what the sun looks like on earth. In the same way, Jesus is what God looked like on earth. He was the visible display of something that we could not see with our own eyes.
            Second, the author goes on to write that Jesus is “the exact imprint of his nature.” In our area, many of us have had the experience of branding cattle. I had that experience once with my father-in-law, and let me tell you – I never knew that cows could make noises like that until I got to help with branding them!
            When you brand a cow, the imprint that ends up on its hide is the same pattern or design that’s on the end of your branding iron. It’s the very same pattern, now imprinted on that cow’s flesh. In the same way, Jesus is the imprint of divinity into a human life. So Jesus displayed what God is like in a way that we could see it – by observing a human life.
            Now at this point, we run into another difficulty in knowing God, because as we all know Jesus is no longer on this Earth in the flesh. He has gone to heaven for the time being, until he returns. So if we get to know God by getting to know Jesus, how do we get to know Jesus even though he is not right now here with us in the flesh?
 
How do we get to know Jesus?
            Fortunately for us, we have the Bible, which is a record of his actions and teachings and descriptions about him. And it’s not just the Gospels that serve this purpose, even though they focus on the life of Christ. The entire Bible – from Genesis to Revelation – teaches us about Jesus. In the Old Testament, it is by way of introduction; in the New Testament, it is by way of description and explanation. Let’s unpack that statement just a bit.
 
The Old Testament is a grand introduction to Jesus, which is still valuable today!
            When you’re getting to know someone, especially in the early stages, is very helpful to have some introductory information about them. When you meet someone, if you already know that they’re a member of the Jones family or the Smith family, it gives you a head start for getting to know them.
            The Old Testament gives us all kinds of wonderful information about what Jesus would be like when he came to the Earth and what purpose he would serve by coming. Jesus himself illustrated this when he encountered two of his disciples very soon after his resurrection. He could tell they were having a very difficult time understanding what had happened, and in Luke 24:25-26, he said to them “Oh foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory?” Then Luke adds in verse 27, “And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself.”
            Now, Moses wrote the first books of the Old Testament, and the books of the prophets come toward the end. So from the beginning of the Old Testament to the end of it, there are lessons to be learned about Jesus. These lessons are still highly relevant for us today!
 
The New Testament is a record of the actions and teachings of Jesus, as well as the teachings He communicated through His followers.
            You know that the four Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John record the actions and teachings of Jesus. But the other books of the New Testament are no less teachings of Jesus even though they have come to us through his human followers.
            On the night before Jesus was crucified, he explained to his disciples that he was going to continue to give them his teachings even though he would no longer be with them in the flesh. How would this happen? Well, in John 14:25-26, Jesus said, “These things I have spoken to you while I am still with you. But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” So the Holy Spirit would be a “stand-in” for Jesus, we might say, and He would continue to give them the teachings of Jesus.
            We see this same thought again in John 16:12—“I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.”
            So as Peter and James and John and Paul wrote their letters, they were communicating the teachings of Jesus that had been given to them through the Holy Spirit. So from beginning to end, the whole of the New Testament is a record of the teachings of Jesus. As we read it, we get to know his thoughts, and we learn what he values and what he despises.
 
So we get to know God by getting to know Jesus, and we get to know Jesus by reading about his actions and his own teachings that are recorded for us in the Bible. But there is one final factor in all of this that we need to take to heart…
 
As we read, we must be willing to embrace the message to properly understand it!
            When you talk with other people and you’re sharing opinions back and forth, there are times when you can tell that another person really isn’t interested in hearing what you have to say. They might let you speak your peace, but you can tell they already have their mind made up and they’re not interested in giving you a fair hearing.
            It is entirely possible for us to read the Bible with that same attitude – and many people do! They’re perfectly happy to read the Bible, but they really don’t give it a fair hearing. They already have their minds made up about what they think is true and false or right and wrong. So when they read something in the Bible that disagrees with their own thoughts, they simply say, “Well now, I don’t think God would really say that, so this part must simply be the human author’s own opinion.”
            Biblical teaching is frequently dismissed in this way when we use our own thoughts to edit the Bible rather than allow the Bible to judge and correct our thoughts. To get to know God through the Bible we must be willing to embrace the Bible’s teaching whatever it may be! Yes, we must study carefully to gain an accurate understanding of the Bible’s message, but our attitude should be the same as little Samuel in the Old Testament when God was trying to talk to him. Whenever we open this holy book, our declaration must be, “Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening!”
            In John 7, some of the Jewish people were amazed at the wisdom of Jesus’ teachings because they knew he had not been to one of their “Ivy League” institutions, so to speak. Jesus said to them in verse 16, “My teaching is not mine, but his who sent me. If anyone’s will is to do God’s will, he will know whether the teaching is from God or whether I am speaking on my own authority.”
            Unless we are willing to do God’s will, we will never understand it, and thus we will never understand God. So as we seek to get to know God by getting to know Jesus through the Bible, we must be willing to embrace what it says – not force it to say what we want it to say. Only then will we gain an accurate understanding of what God is like, and thus have a better relationship with him.
           

            There are certain relationships in life that only thrive when you have a passion to get to know someone. I think a relationship with a good mentor is like that. When you find someone you really admire, someone that you want to be like, you have a strong drive to learn everything that you can from them. You want to be around them and learn how they think and ask them a million questions to learn why they do the things they do.
            Romantic relationships certainly belong in this category as well. In those early stages of a romance, could you even imagine having an attraction to someone and NOT having a passionate desire to get to know them? That wouldn’t even be an attraction anymore! And many couples can attest that romance grows cold when the passion to get to know each other fades away.
            Your relationship with God is certainly a relationship that is worthy of your greatest passion. The simple fact that we are relating to GOD calls for that kind of passion from us! You cannot let a closer bond with God slip on to that list of “things I’ll get around to someday.”
            We all have a list like that in our minds, don’t we? Maybe you’ve had a desire for years to remodel your kitchen, but when it was time to either make plans or set it aside, you said, “we’ll get around to that someday!” Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn how to play an instrument, but every time you’ve seen a used one for sale you’ve said, “Well, it’s just not the right time. I’ll get around to that someday!”
            Only God knows how many Christians have remained infants in their faith because they’ve said, “I’ll get around to knowing God better someday!” Maybe when things quiet down a little bit around work; maybe when the kids are out of diapers; maybe when the kids graduate; maybe when I retire.
            We all know that song and dance, don’t we? We sincerely have the best of intentions about prioritizing our relationship with God, but we wait for a time when we think it might be easier to do than right now, and that time just never comes! The key is that we must choose to prioritize our relationship with God above everything else. We must assess the things we value in life and choose to put our relationship with God at the very top.
            God Himself summed up this need very well through the prophet Jeremiah in Jeremiah 9:23-24. In these verses, the Lord considered a couple of things that we might be tempted to value highly, and then he reminded us of what we should prize more than anything else: “Thus says the Lord: Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.”
 
In the rest of our time together today, I want to look with you at a little piece of autobiography from the Apostle Paul in Philippians 3. In this chapter, he describes for us how he came to value knowing God more than anything else.
 
Philippians 3:7-11
 
1. A change in Paul’s “personal accounting”
            In vv. 5-6, Paul described the accomplishments that he used to value before he became a believer in Christ. He had valued these things because he thought that they all added up to put him on very friendly terms with God. Let me quickly run through this resume that Paul provides:
·         Circumcised on the eighth day—This, of course, was required in the Law of Moses. It shows that Paul came from good stock—he had faithful parents.
·         Of the people of Israel—They were the ones who had heard from God through the prophets, and they had his promises.
·         Of the tribe of Benjamin—The Benjamites had faithfully served King David from the very beginning of his reign, so this carried some prestige.
·         A Hebrew of Hebrews—Even though Paul was not born in the land of Israel, his parents brought him up in the language and culture of his ancestors—unlike some other Jews who were leaving those things behind.
·         As to the law, a Pharisee—He was a member of the strictest sect of Judaism.
·         As to zeal, a persecutor of the church—He had tried to stamp out the Christian faith initially because he thought it was an insult to God.
·         As to righteousness under the law, blameless—No one could find fault with Paul by the standards of the law, because he kept it so faithfully.
 
            But after Paul met Jesus in that fateful encounter on the road to Damascus, he began to see all of these things in a different light [READ v. 7].
            Paul used some terminology here from the world of accounting, and he paints a word picture like this—he used to think of those things as being like deposits or credits in his spiritual bank account. He thought he had great spiritual health, then, and was firmly in God’s good graces because his spiritual bank account seemed so large. But after he met Christ, he realized that those things had been more like debits from his spiritual bank account. Just as financial debt can hold us back from important goals, Paul’s spiritual resume had been holding him back, blinding him to the truth that he needed to be saved from his sins by the Lord Jesus Christ.
            So Paul came to realize that the spiritual resume that had once given him such pride had actually been a barrier that kept him from coming to Christ. That experience taught him that he must not allow himself to value anything as much as he valued getting to know Jesus well.
 
2. Nothing compares to knowing Christ
            Notice in verse eight how Paul looks beyond his old spiritual resume to take stock of everything in his life [READ v.8a]. Now keep in mind here that Paul is making a comparison. We know from his writings that he certainly valued his friendships and he valued his possessions – even though they may have been meager – but compared to the value of knowing Jesus deeply – well, by that comparison, nothing else had much value at all! In fact, if any of those things would hold Paul back from knowing Jesus better, he understood that he would be suffering a great loss.
            This attitude sustained Paul through all of the real-life losses that he did suffer. He did lose friends for the sake of Jesus; he probably lost family members as well. He speaks of these losses as we continue in verse eight [READ v. 8b].
            This is a very interesting statement from Paul, and I think what he means is that whatever he lost for the sake of Christ, he doesn’t want it back if it means he would have to be unfaithful to Christ. When Paul converted, he lost significant fame and prestige among the Jewish people and perhaps even significant wealth, but in the same way that you no longer want the trash that you set out on your curb every week, Paul no longer wanted those things because he now had something so much better. He wanted nothing at all to keep him from knowing Jesus better and better.
            Paul then goes on to tell us his purposes for adopting this attitude [READ v. 9, beginning in v. 8 at “in order that”]. Paul never again wants to think that his spiritual life is like a resume of his own accomplishments. Even as he grew in Christ, he wanted to remember that all of that growth came simply by trusting in God. On his part, Paul could take no credit even for his spiritual maturity or the powerful ways that God used him. It all came about simply as he continued to obey God in faith.
            And then in verse 10, we read of how thoroughly Paul wanted to know Jesus – to understand the Lord’s thoughts and attitudes and motivations and strength [READ v. 10 through “resurrection”].
            When God raised Jesus from the dead, he did what was seemingly impossible, and in our lives today, that same power can still accomplish things that are seemingly impossible. God can empower us to forgive people who have hurt us no matter how deeply those wounds have cut. He can reconcile us with people about whom our world might say, “There’s no hope for their relationship! It’s too far gone.” But God can do it!
            God’s power can help us control our inner desires and urges that will dominate and destroy us if we give full expression to them. Our world thinks that we will be psychologically harmed if we don’t let our anger erupt somehow or if we say “no” to any lust that we might have, but that’s because our world does not understand the power of God!
            Paul wanted to know that resurrection power by experiencing it in his own life as it transformed him and put to death the sinful desires within him, truly giving him a new quality-of-life. And then Paul goes on to say something perhaps even more profound [READ v. 10 from “and may share”].
            We love all that talk about resurrection power, but talk of suffering is a harder pill to swallow! But if we want to understand Jesus thoroughly, we have to remember that as the Scripture says, he was a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. And he willingly embraced all of that, so if we are going to know him well, we have to learn why he was willing to endure those sufferings in obedience to God the Father, and we have to learn the attitudes that allowed him to remain faithful to the Father through it all.
            Paul describes some of those attitudes back in chapter 2 when he told the Philippians that it was great humility that led Jesus down the path toward the cross. He didn’t view his powers and position as God as things to be used simply for his own advantage, but he considered our needs and set out to meet them even though it required great humility and sacrifice from him.
            If we want to say that we know Jesus well, we have to come to understand why he so highly valued attitudes like humility and a willingness to sacrifice for the sake of others. And if we want to understand why he thought that way and why he lived that way, we will never understand it through a casual effort. We must embrace this passion that leads us to say everything else is loss compared to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.
            If I achieve great success in this world but never get to know Jesus, I will have suffered a great loss. If I earn unimaginable wealth but never get to know Jesus, I will have suffered a great loss. Even if I simply piece together a nice life for myself with my wife and kids and a steady job and a gold watch when I retire but I never get to know Jesus, I will have suffered a great loss.
            My friends, you will never get to know Jesus well until you decide that that is the most valuable thing you could possibly pursue in your life. Understanding him requires you to become like him, and the sacrifices to do that are great enough that you will never do it unless you decide that it’s worth it. So decide today that everything else is like a loss compared to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus your Lord. Put that kind of passion in your relationship with him because that relationship will never grow without it!
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